


She Saved Me, She Saved Us

by Lokiiwood



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: After Ending Spoilers (Mystic Messenger), Angst, Love Triangles, Other, V AE Spoilers, only angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 18:33:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17883083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiiwood/pseuds/Lokiiwood
Summary: V After Ending SpoilersHis face soured and Jihyun paused to answer. “Different. It’s not an obsession this time. It’s honest. She...saved me.”“She savedus.”Jihyun ran a wayward hand through his hair. “Well, I guess I mean figuratively, too.”But so did he.Saeran dropped the topic and returned his gaze to the clouds, reaching a hand to feel around his skin again. He shivered. It was cold in Jihyun’s shadow.





	She Saved Me, She Saved Us

It was another peaceful day, rolling green hills of weeds and flowers that held the same beauty to him dotted the endless space. They were alone, the sky was blue and white with a bright, yellow sun, and all was well. His fingers ran over his smooth face - Jihyun told him he couldn’t feel a difference between the scarred and unscarred area, but _he_ could.

He could feel right where the blast hit him, where it left its permanent marks. Saeran still couldn’t face mirrors but he could face the sky and that was enough - for now. He laid on his back in the shadow of a sitting Jihyun and inhaled fresh air.

“I can’t wait to see her again.”

It was the first time Jihyun mentioned her and his mind went blank. They touched on Mint Eye in scraps, on Rika in bits, and his brother in short bursts that usually sent him reeling in anger.

But they’d never talked about _her_.

Saeran turned his head to stare at Jihyun as he smiled down at his canvas. It was still blank, but in Jihyun’s gaze it was like he was peering into an actual perfected painting.

“What?”

His mouth was dry as he asked, but he had to know for sure. A hand bunched around the fabric where his heart was, cruel memories of how he treated MC bubbling up into his mind like a volcano on the brink of burst - ready to burn him all over again.

“MC. I write her often; think she’s doing well.”

“Why?”

That seemed to get his attention. Jihyun’s smile faded but only for a moment as he placed down the paintbrush and canvas and returned his gaze.

“I think I’m in love with her.”

“Like you love me?”

He knew the answer - he _knew_ the answer but -

“A bit different.”

“Like _her_?”

His face soured and Jihyun paused to answer. “Different. It’s not an obsession this time. It’s honest. She...saved me.”

“She saved _us_.”

Jihyun ran a wayward hand through his hair. “Well, I guess I mean figuratively, too.”

But so did he.

Saeran dropped the topic and returned his gaze to the clouds, reaching a hand to feel around his skin again. He shivered. It was cold in Jihyun’s shadow.

He got used to not keeping track of time, which is why he was stunned when Jihyun told him it’d been two years since he’d been in town.

“Two years?”

Jihyun’s apologetic smile told him everything. “Everything will be fine, Saeran. Everyone will be happy to see you. I promise.”

It was the right answer to the wrong question, but Saeran nodded his head all the same and took in a deep breath. He adjusted his tie, avoiding the curious gazes of attendees who were probably staring at his disgusting face, and followed Jihyun into the RFA party.

Jihyun was right - he only made promises he could keep now. Hours of tears later, Saeyoung finally let him go. But he wouldn’t leave his side, craving contact and reassurance that he was real. It was why the discussion of his scars came up the first day - Saeyoung noticed how he flinched when he touched tender spots. It wasn’t that it hurt anymore. He just...wasn’t used to it.

“Yoosung, can you bring us more water?”

Saeyoung refused to let Saeran lift a hand at the party just as much as he refused to leave his side. When the blonde eagerly ran off, Saeran’s eyes followed him and widened.

There she was.

Walking towards him, her eyes cautious but bright. He felt his hands begin to tremble but ignored the way Saeyoung held his hand tighter. She was scared of him. But he couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

“Hello, Saeran.”

She kept a small distance, hands politely folded in front of her.

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes widened for just a moment before a smile graced her lips. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. You look...well.”

She visibly relaxed, but he couldn’t. The lava was rising to his head again, he felt like he was burning all over. But he gulped it away. He’d prepared for this day for two years. He could do this.

“Thank you. I am. And you?”

“Much better now that I got to see you two together.”

“Thank you, MC,” his brother said.

“You’re welcome. It’s just I - ah - sorry. Are you enjoying the par-”

“It’s okay, you can be frank with me. I’m well,” Saeran interrupted.

“Oh…”

“Saeran?” Saeyoung asked, squeezing his hand once.

“I’m fine. I promise,” he smiled.

“Well, it’s just I couldn’t…”

She trailed off, a hand wiping hastily at her eye.

His whole head was burning - the lava was rising. He felt himself blinking rapidly.

“When you called me that day and the phone call died I just-”

Both hands were at her eyes now as she struggled to wipe away fresh tears.

“I’m so glad you’re alive, Saeran.”

His eyes mimicked hers, hot tears rolling down his cheeks again.

“You didn’t...you didn’t know, either?”

She shook her head quietly before excusing herself, rushing away towards the bathroom.

Saeyoung brought him in close, wrapping him in a hug but all Saeran could do was shake. Jihyun hadn’t told anyone - even the person he supposedly loved. He didn’t have to come back at all, no one would’ve known if Jihyun simply decided not to bring him to the party or abandoned him. A lie by omission. Old habits die hard. MC had believed in his last words, carrying that burden for two years? He shook against the comfort of his brother and glanced around to see blue hair holding a black dress in the distance.

The volcano burst.

Thankfully, he didn’t make a scene. Saeran and Saeyoung excused themselves to continue serious conversations privately. Despite angrily obsessing over the details of his life in the past, Saeran didn’t know half of what happened to his brother.

But Saeyoung told him everything - no omissions and no understatements. Apparently, people could have relationships like that. He'd never known one. Despite being the person he used to trust the least, Saeyoung quickly became the person he trusted the most. It’s why he felt weird to possess keys to both Saeyoung’s home and Jihyun’s as if he trusted them equally.

He hid them under a cloth napkin because it hurt to look at. Saeran wasn’t even sure why he came to Jihyun’s today. The flowerbed didn’t need watering and all he’d been doing was pacing the place, lost in his thoughts despite the danger.

When the doorbell rang, he hesitated to even approach. Did Jihyun lock himself out? Saeran cautiously peeked through the door and sighed. Her. She was here to see him. Didn’t she get a message that he was going to be late from the studio? Guess not. He opened the door and waved her in.

“Heya Saeran!” she beamed, taking off her shoes as she looked around. “Where’s Jihyun?”

Saeran didn’t respond, locking the door behind her and walking to the kitchen to fetch his guest water.

She watched him for a while, standing around awkwardly until he handed her the fresh glass.

“Oh, thank you.”

She smiled and took a sip as her eyes wandered. “Is he not home yet?”

“No.”

Saeran sighed immediately after, knowing how snippy he must’ve sounded.

“Oh…”

“H-he’ll be back in about twenty minutes. He’s late,” he elaborated, trying to correct himself.

Saeran repeated calming words to himself in his head. It seemed silly advice at first from his therapist, but it worked surprisingly well for him. When he explained what he was doing, even Vanderwood nodded. Apparently, that was common advice for killers on missions. He shivered at the thought.

He wasn’t a killer. He wasn’t like them at all. _Right? He wasn’t -_

“I see,” she hummed. “Mind if I wait here?”

"Of course not," he murmured, going ahead and sitting. Why would she even ask that?

She sat beside him at the kitchen table and smiled at the vase of wildflowers that decorated its center.

“Oh, these are beautiful!”

He perked up. “I-I grew them myself.”

“Ahh, I should've known. You're amazing! You have another garden? I didn't see these kinds in the back."

“Yeah...I have one at Saeyoung’s and here.”

She smiled over at him. “I thought it was you _and_ Saeyoung’s place?”

“I guess neither one feels exactly like mine.”

“Really? It always seemed nice. Like you had two homes. I think this place is a lot brighter ‘cause of you.”

“Mm…” He didn’t know how to handle such gleeful praise. “So do you go to the garden often? The one here?”

“Of course. It’s my favorite spot in the house.”

His heart sped up at the easy declaration. Would it be appropriate to thank her?

“I think I’m looking forward to seeing it more often when I move back in.”

“Why’d you even move out?”

Her eyes widened. Oops.

“Oh - sorry - I didn’t mean -”

“I-it’s okay. I just thought maybe it was too early for us to be living together. It got weird for me to live here about a year in, I didn’t want to rely on Jihyun.”

“Why?”

Her eyes turned downward. “Well, I guess part of me was scared he wouldn’t come back, either.”

“Either meaning...like me?”

She responded with silence. Saeran could see the parallels. Living in a room of his choosing, knowing he could walk through the door at any time...or never again. It was different, but…

But maybe he was projecting.

He tried to will the thoughts away and stood up. “I’m never leaving again.”

She exhaled and nodded. “Thanks for that.”

“Let’s go now.”

“Go?”

“To the garden.”

“Oh! Yes!”

He held out his hand, realizing immediately that it was a strange decision. But she took it without hesitation and he relaxed. Maybe he’d picked up the habit from his brother. Regardless, she was warm and inviting as he led her to the back.

Saeran watched her expression change from anticipation to excitement, the sunlight and a colorful rainbow of flowers reflecting in her gaze. She was beautiful.

“Saeran you’re so amazing at gardening! I always tell Jihyun to talk back here with me more but he-”

“It’s fine, as long as you like it.”

She laughed at that and he felt the beginning of a smile on his face.

“You’re so sweet, Saeran,” she sighed, beginning to finally let go of his hand.

But he squeezed it tighter.

“Saeran?”

He would’ve let go if it was fear in her eyes. But this time it wasn’t.

“Sorry. I just - it feels good when Saeyoung holds my hand these days I-”

“Oh, it’s alright. I don’t mind,” she reassured with a squeeze back.

MC looked back over the small garden for a few moments before speaking again, her voice low. “Did you hear anything about Jihyun moving out? To someplace bigger?"

“Yeah…”

But he didn’t want to talk about him. Every time she even mentioned his name he felt like a thorn was piercing his heart.

“If he does, would you want to start a new garden?”

For her, yes.

“Maybe.”

He watched her disappointed expression out the corner of his eye and changed his answer. “Yeah. I want to.”

“Jihyun’s really lucky to have you.”

“I’m - I’m here for you too, you know.”

She turned to face him, surprise and curiosity plastered on her face as he turned his head too.

The small ring of a door chime stole her attention, but his hand moved on its own to her cheek to gently bring her back. He quickly moved the hand away to press a finger to his lips.

“But I think Jihyun’s home,” she whispered.

“Stay with me,” he whispered back. What was he _doing_?

He’d never mentioned her in therapy.

But as she stared at him and slowly nodded her head, he knew he probably should.

And when Jihyun didn’t bother checking the garden, he knew he had to.

But when Jihyun never found out, he didn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> :'))))) all I know is pain


End file.
